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"Content so exclusive it cannot be found in any of the world's most famous museums."


Hi, I'm Drew Pendergrass. My gluten-free, fair trade, organic website is lovingly built from whatever I decide to post online. It hosts a variety of projects, resources, and ephemera made over the years, including experimental music, my writing, a video game, a startup that sells logs on wheels, a stupid Chrome extension, and esoteric sorting algorithms.

Currently, I study physics and mathematics at Harvard University. For my first three years of college I was an undergraduate research assistant in Daniel Jacob's computational atmospheric chemistry group at Harvard, which culminated in a research paper on Beijing air quality published in Geophysical Research Letters. I spent summer 2018 as a research assistant for Amos Tai at the Chinese University of Hong Kong, funded by the Harvard-China Project on the Environment; I explored the use of topological data analysis and manifold learning to understand the nonlinear interactions between ozone, meteorology, and the biosphere (it didn't work). I currently work with Samuel Myers and Matthew Smith at the T.H. Chan School of Public Health, where I research how drought affects global agricultural commodity trade with an emphasis on health outcomes in low-income nations. I write for the Harvard Political Review and the weekly magazine of The Harvard Crimson. More importantly, I am reluctant to resort to black magic, I have absolutely no intention of running for Senate in the great state of Minnesota, and I am not reptilian.

Spotlight

Read an article I cowrote in The Crimson on two Harvard scientists and the unethical tests they ran to create the first birth control pill: "The Bitter Pill: Harvard and the Dark History of Birth Control."

A Brief Q&A

Q. Why does this page keep changing?

A. This page is randomly generated by the server on each load. Most of the page's contents are not displayed on one particular load, so for the full experience reload a bunch of times.

Q. Why don't you just host this crap on Github like a normal person?

A. Github only allows static websites. I wanted my website to be different for every visitor. DrewPendergrass.com, like life itself, must always be in flux. You could say I'm an artist.

Q. Who are you?

A. Well, to start off, I am not to my knowledge a victim of a mummy's curse, my mind's eye exists only in a figurative sense, I have never commanded an army composed of more than 100,000 soldiers, I hold no world records, and I did not orchestrate the Camp David Accords. If you for some strange reason would like to know something substantial about me, you can check out my projects page or my CV.

Q. How can I contact you?

A. You can follow me on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and Soundcloud; you can contact me at drew@drewpendergrass.com.

Please address all complaints and denials of climate change to grievances@drewpendergrass.com, an email address that is definitely not just a sassy autoresponder.

Q. What is your favorite artificial flavor?

A. I am a big green apple fan, but I can go for some watermelon as well. Some days I go wild and get blue raspberry, especially if it's spelled 'Blu Razzberry.'

Some true statements

I accept the axiom of choice ... I proudly possess object permanence ... to my knowledge, there is no portrait of me that ages in my place ... I have never traveled to an exoplanet ... I take my eggs over easy ... I have no trouble distinguishing my right from my left ... I have nothing to do with explosions ... I am not a closed, non-orientable, boundary-free manifold ... I appreciate knowledge of the outcome of a given situation ... I keep all my eggs in separate baskets ... I keep the old gods ... I have never advocated on behalf of, or against, the Free Silver movement ... you cannot prove I have sympathies for the former state of Burgundy ... I am not a substitute for a medical doctor ... I am capable of reading English ...

From the archives

metronome

A Moving, and Random, Quotation

For poetry makes nothing happen: it survives

In the valley of its making where executives

Would never want to tamper, flows on south

From ranches of isolation and the busy griefs,

Raw towns that we believe and die in; it survives,

A way of happening, a mouth.

-W.H. Auden


Read more here.

Bonus Content Zone!

Three Cryptic Messages Regarding Matters of Supreme Importance

  1. Now fear your gods before they beware your neighbors.
  2. Your enemies have been vandalized. Please redact the captors.
  3. All perceptions will be watched.

One randomly-generated sorting algorithm, please!

Do you have an unsorted list of N natural numbers? Do you just hate it when programs are guaranteed to terminate? Do you get angry when algorithms do better than factorial time? Then you're in luck! The following algorithm has been generated just for you:

  1. Begin with a gaslighting strategy. Insist to everyone that the list is already in order, even if it is not. If they give up arguing with you, terminate the program. If they insist that you actually sort the list, proceed to the next step.
  2. Uh oh! You've triggered a penalty step. Before you proceed, you must perform a task. Obtain one (1) chess grandmaster. You are generous, so you let them go first. After they move their piece, move a random one of yours to a random cell on the board. If this move violates the rules of chess, flip the board in anger and start again. If it is a legal move, continue playing until either the board is flipped or checkmate. If the grandmaster has won, repeat the game. If you won, proceed to the next step. You've paid the penalty.
  3. You turn to mathematical ecology for inspiration. For each number in your list, generate a population of rabbits proportional to the number and a population of wolves inversely proportional to the number. Wait for each system to equilibrate. Read off the equilibrium population of rabbits in order of population size, printing the number corresponding to each.

Congratulations! Your list is now sorted. You can find a permalink to this particular algorithm here.

Computer!

Facts about Robert Bork or facts about Björk?

Click the line you think is about Robert Bork!

Example 1

Example 2

Example 3

Score: 0 • Streak: 0

All facts lovingly taken from Wikipedia.

You should google Graham Starr